I don't think I could work with a T who did not treat me as an equal or who lacked the insight, integrity and humility to take ownership for her part in the relationship and any mistakes she may make. I've been with my current T for 3 years and I really don't think she has made any great foibles. However, I do recall one time when I was dissatisfied with how she addressed a particular conversation. She didn't do anything wrong per se, but I felt that she was misunderstanding me and failing to respond to my emotional needs. In the following session, I brought this up and told her that I felt disappointed. I didn't accuse her of anything or tell her that she was wrong; I just told her how what she said made me feel and how I felt misunderstood. She instantly "got it" and apologized. She said "what I said last session was totally unhelpful. What you needed was X and what I gave you was Y. In the future, I will be sure to give you X. Thank-you for bringing this up; I'm glad that I understand you now." It was incredibly validating and made me feel a thousand times better. So now, whenever I feel like T and I are failing to understanding one another (which is rare), I stop and tell her so. I calmly explain things to her as I see them (without accusing/blaming her), and we talk through it until we're on the same page. If she feels as though she misunderstood something, she apologizes. If I feel I misunderstood something, I apologize. (We both also have a tendency to be 3-5 minutes late. So, if I'm the one who's late, I apologize and if she's the one who's late, she apologizes). This has allowed us to avoid having any ruptures or taking any steps backwards. I think her willingness to own her part in our relationship is one of the things that makes her a great T.