I agree that Venus Time is exactly what you need and that you should not feel the tiniest bit guilty about it. You absolutely deserve a break. Pushing yourself 24/7 is only going to cause you to break down and not be the best Venus you can be.

You're under a lot of stress, so taking time out to regenerate is very important. You'll find everything is easier if you feel refreshed.

I know those intrusive thoughts are terrible. I get intrusive thoughts, too. I don't think they are psychosis exactly. Just violent annoying thoughts that won't leave you alone. Just remember they are not real and they can't hurt you unless you let them.