You don't necessarily need to be the same to be compatible. Often, your differences can be what actually make your relationship good. My husband is very laid-back, doesn't get too stressed, and is kind of messy. I'm a neat freak and like to organise things. We compliment each other really well - we always joke that I get things done and he lets things go.

The way I see it, if you're laidback about something, and your partner isn't, that saves you having to worry about it yourself...

That said, if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. You don't have to justify not feeling the spark. But if it's long-term, it may just be a lull. Can you think back to what first attracted you to her?

(I'm straight, but I think this is pretty universal advice.)[/QUOTE]

Hi there,

I think you could be right about it being a compliment, I just wish I wasn't annoyed by it (like the cooking scenario) and perhaps it only agitates me because I am afraid she is going to try to curb my.. spontaneity.

People who have been together for awhile go through times where they don't feel a whole lot for the other person right? I think lack of passion is the description I'm looking for.

What does a lull in a relationship feel like? I thought I was in love once, and for 3 years we both just kept trying to change each other, one person was always sacrificing the self for the other type of thing, and so we rarely ever argued. This relationship is so much more real, so maybe I just don't know how to roll with it, when things aren't all exciting?

Thanks!
-obj