I just spent about 3 hours with my sister whom I love. But getting through those 3 hours was horride. I couldn't wait for her to leave;was actually praying for her to go. I am just a mess. I feel like my nerves are fried. I just want to go into melt-down mode.

Why is it so hard to be with her? I feel so nervous, so tongue-tied, so uptight. I just want her visit to be over so that I can be alone again. I can't cope with the intimacy. She doesn't pressure me at all. She's calm and understanding and loving and carries on 99% of the conversation. It's not her. It's me. I just can't cope with being with her or my other sister for that matter. What is wrong with me? Why are these primary relationships so fraught with fear and danger?