I want to say thank you to everyone who has been so kind, not just in this post. I don't have much access to who I am, I don't know why I am just often outcast from my mind it is debatable if I do or don't have one of my own sometimes. I really don't care for anything in the world truly, sometimes there's a flicker of a passionate care for something, like if I see a butterfly or hear birds or when a child smiles, but it is so rare. I do know though that whenever anybody leaves I never forget them and often think of them, hoping they're okay; those people are the only parts of existence that I really care about but I don't know how to handle when they leave, and everyone leaves. It is so difficult to find people that will even talk, but I don't know how to change and keep people in my life, I never do want them to leave ever but I have to accept if they want to. It is just sad that it has happened so often and nobody is really left, when they were all I have been able to care about. I don't mean to seem attention seeking at all, it is just so hard to find people though, that can maybe understand and see me as real, even it is difficult not to be invisible , i don't know what to do