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Syra · Apr 10, 2013, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by button30

Yes Syra, that is all correct. Tell me I am not over reacting and that this is her stuff, right?

I wish I had paid attention to my former T's handling of issues when I was hurt. I noticed she didn't apologize, although she didn't strike out at me either like yours did - but she didn't own her behavior. That was the first sign I should have paid attention to. tHere were others later.

Later one (over two years later) she did start blaming me for her feelings. By then I had a few other red flags I ignored. I ignored this one too.

I think it's smart that you are paying attention to the red flags.

I have no idea if you are over-reacting or under-reacting. I'm not sure that is all that important. Clients don't come perfect. We all have our issues. It's HER job to help you with that, and I don't think judging and blaming and criticizing is an accepted practice for helping clients and I'm sure it's contrary to research. IF you are over-reacting (although I'm not hearing that) I don't see her as someone who can help you. And IF you are overreacting - that is okay. What's important is you are aware of your feelings, and observing yourself, and being thoughtful. That is how we grow. This is a good thing. You don't have to be perfect to go to therapy, and you don't have to be perfect to not like how the T treats you.

What I hear is she is blaming you for her bad behavior. I wouldn't like that in a friend. I wouldn't like that from family. And I sure wouldn't like paying for the experience.