Then of course I started to blame myself again and was afraid of losing all of my friends due to my poor judgement but now that I am in a different frame of mind- This is horseshit.
I wouldnt accept this behaviour for anyone who I was paying but I still feel bad about myself evewn though I know it wasn't my fault.[/quote]

Button,

I am jumping up and down while doing the happy dance. .
You did not let this woman switch your reality. What you thought and felt were the truth. I know how difficult it can be to discern whats right and whats wrong due to past abuse. Perps always try to make victims feel responsible for the abuse. They don't take responsibilty for any of their behavior, they dump it on the victim.

You took a giant step towards your recovery. Celebrate your victory. Please allow yourself to feel the strength you have. You did it......you pulled her cover. Don't let false guilt take your joy. The guilt belongs to her, don't pick it up and carry it for her. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Sabra giving you a big hug,