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I've been fighting this "depression battle" for far too long now. And I'm so tired of it. I don't have the strength or energy or drive or care to keep fighting. How can I tell people that?! I'm not close with anyone, especially my family. I've been shielding people from how bad things are with me for years. But my parents are starting to badger me, questioning why I don't do anything to get better. (this is what they see/think, but it's not true) I'm just exhausted: physically, mentally, emotionally, and everything! The journey of constantly battling against this has taken its toll on me, more than anyone could ever know or see!! And I've got nothing left to give anymore. There is no more "fight" left in me. So all I can do is just go from one day to the next. How can you say that to a person? You know, without them going all "insanely overbearing" on you as a reaction to what you have just told them?!
I know how bad this sounds. Trust me. And I have been fighting certain "thoughts" for so long, that I am use to them by now. They have become a 'regular' thing for me. Which is why I never tell anyone about them. I can handle my thoughts. I can about imagine how others would react if they knew. I had a friend who once flew off the deep end as a reaction, so I know. And I don't what that from anyone. But the lack of their understanding is only hurting me more. So now what? How can you say that you just don't have it in you to fight anymore??? That you are like a car battery that has been drained so many times, that there is nothing left in it...
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