This is stupid I feel worse I think. My mood swings got worse after I got put on meds and now I'm in a nightmare trying to constantly pick up the pieces of my life I just wreaked havoc on.

I feel horrible and in a deeper depression than I've been in in a long time. I feel like no one in RL really listens and understands. I want to stop taking these damn chemicals! My pdoc acts like I'm not important enough to listen to. He just wanted me to pay him, shut up, and leave.

I wish I were dead but I don't feel like I could bring myself to seriously harm myself. I feel worthless, fat, annoying, needy.....

**** everything.