Maybe you need to switch providers? I love my therapist, but have thought several times about switching pdocs... he's not really THAT bad so I haven't really felt the NEED to yet. He's just annoying because I do feel like he doesn't understand me sometimes and just wants to push drugs on me and push me out the door... so I can definitely relate to what you're going through.

And maybe you need to switch your meds? Psych meds are weird in the sense that what works great for someone else, might not work for you. But i'm sure there is SOMETHING out there that can help? Also anytime I ever feel like getting off my meds (usually it's because I feel great and think I don't need them anymore though) I immediately think back to what it was like when I WASN'T on meds... all the crying, mood swings, extreme irritability and then i'm like "NOPE! I'm staying on"

I'm sorry you're hurting right now but please don't do anything to harm yourself. Unfortunately being bipolar comes with the territory of having some pretty intense uncomfortable emotions... but remember they are only temporary emotions and you WILL feel better again! Hugs