Hi Solepa, I agree with the comments above - these are things you should work toward discussing with your therapist. They sound very traumatic and would certainly affect the ways you relate to others (sexually or otherwise) as an adult.

I think the others have expressed well what I would say re the therapy process - trust is the first step, then comes the sharing and experiencing of emotions. It's very powerful.

I also struggle with the cost but I figure I can't put a price on my happiness Journalling and writing about your experiences will definitely hep. And keep posting here, I think PC is great therapy for a lot of us!