I agree it's a bit early. You need to grieve it all out first. Your MD knows that the hatred will harm your body if you dwell in it too much, our bodies aren't made for that kind of torment. I think you'll wash off the dust after a while, maybe not "forgive" in the sense of the word, but get to a place where it doesn't cause you so much pain to think of her. It takes time.
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never mind...
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