Guilt about my reliance, my dependence on this one person. Guilt about my constant aroused state, even when I am depressed. Guilt about thinking that my lover doesn't love me when I know deep down that she does. Guilt that I upset her, and keep upsetting her without realizing I am doing so. Guilt that I feel guilty. When she says something, when anyone says something to me, it gets analyzed and analyzed and analyzed, looking for what they meant by the words they used, the tone, the body language, the pauses and lack of pauses. Not forgetting the context of what was said. What I assume "normal" people would conceive as a normal statement I see as something else. An excuse not to see me. A reason to leave me. A criticism of me. Pity. I cannot help the way I feel, the things going through my head, but I feel like it is adversely affect me. More so my relationships. Which in turn, causes me guilt.

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