You're right Hamster...I am causing myself more stress then is needed. I have talked to my family dr and the impression I get from him is that he thinks I should just be able to stop eating bad food, and that I can just stop bingeing. He is vegan.
I am very obsessive and a perfectionist so when I try to eat healthier...I end up trying to be perfect by cutting out all the bad foods. I have gone on the Atkins diet when I heard carbs were bad. I avoided bananas when someone told me that they had too much sugar. I avoided rice/potatoes because someone said they had too many carbs, even when I stopped doing Atkins. I was always looking at food in terms of "good" and "bad."
Yes, I do have to be gluten free, I have been diagnosed as celiac and need to avoid it.
I have decided that I am going to let myself eat anything I want as long as it's gluten free and see how it goes. I have been reading as much as I can about Intuitive Eating, and I love this article: Intuitive Eating Case Study: My Last Three Meals | Shapely Prose
I feel the need to remind myself that after my daughter was born, I lost 75 lbs in the first year by making healthier choices, eating more whole foods instead of boxed ones. After that I started joining forums about dieting, started counting cals and got so strict that I started bingeing. I have since stopped losing and have yo yo'd. This proves that as long as I stop counting calories and just eat a balanced diet...I may lose weight (I may not) but I will be happier than if I keep obsessing.