It is frustrating. I'm keeping on my thoughts that this marriage needs to end, for me first, our kids and for dh, I'm not able to be what he needs. I'm not sure anyone can till he figures out what he needs. Heis terribly inconsistant. I can recall good times ( of course, they are only the two of us, no kids, no friends, just us), making tea at night, little ice cream cups, going to the grocery store. He's a very intense guy so those carefree times I guess stick in my head more than others.

I'm just tired of the ups and downs. He actually called me at work today to ask me to "be nice" to him, he was having a bad day. I haven't been not nice. He started again when he came home "promise you won't leave me". It's like he's not hearing me correctly. I'm not being mean, but distant but I'm angry, tired, and can't make the depression go away, I didn't cause it. And I won't promise I won't leave because I do not want to be married to him anymore. I will never abandon him, but I just don't want my life disrupted every time he feels bad (even if he doesnt' see his actions and irritablity).

How long can an episode of depression last?? I'm trying to be as supportive as I can without giving in but it's wearing me down. I wish, for him first, that the depression would lift, he's miserable. I'm also concerned if I wait till the episode if over to tell him I'm filing for divorce, will that bring it back? I dont' want to hurt anymore or send him into another episode.