Do I remember that your mother had some custody of your oldest? Or am I confused? I know how crippling depression can be but I also know that you have to find some way to get your meds or it will get much worse. My doc specifically ordered the samples I needed when I was without insurance. Also, if you are on one of the older meds that they don't promote anymore you may have to change to an upgraded version. Please call the doc and ask him if he can get the meds for you as it really is life and death! What are you taking?