I do have good days and I feel happy sometimes. Maybe it is the meds or therapy, but it is a constant struggle battling depression. I get stuck in self loathing miserable stints and it is hard to pull yourself out of that. I often have to battle my inner critic and tell my self I am not worthless and I can do thing right. Sometimes I have the strength and others I don't, but for me I do have good days and I have to remind myself that I deserve to feel happy and I have to work for it. I try to eat, and I have to try and be kind to myself. I am often over critical. It is ok if I mess up and it doesn't mean I am an awful person who deserves to be punished for making a mistake. Making mistakes is part of life and we can't do things right all the time. I also have to battle dark thoughts sometimes too. I hate that I think about hurting myself and sometimes I wish I could just purge these thoughts from my head. I have to keep it together and tell myself the feelings won't last forever and I will be happy again one day. Sometimes taking it a day or even a minute at a time is all I can do to cope. I hope things get better for you and you allow yourself to be supported and don't isolate yourself into more depression.