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Old Oct 25, 2006, 11:56 PM
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AlteredState01 AlteredState01 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,062
That's really quite an interesting statement you attribute to Linehan. Do you know where you read that?

I ask, because, being manipulative (or thinking we are good at it) is a typical trait of BPD, so I cannot imagine her promoting that behaviour. Of course, there are many different ways to manipuate - passive-agressive techniques; guilt, fear, etc. (and probably some that we use that are not yet documented - we are, after all, quite talented in this area).

I think what Dr. Linehan may have been referring to was not so much manipulation, but referring to persuasion. Two VERY different things.

Manipulation implies (and is defined as): (esp. unfair) use of influence (what we, as borderlines, are good at), whereas persuasion implies (and is defined as): cause to convince through cognition ( being defined as: Action or faulty of knowing, perceiving, conceiving (logic, if you will), as opposed to emotion and volition) (which we are not good at). Simply stated, our emotional perceptions (as a BP) almost entirely rules over logical perceptions (we can actually be so logical in our thinking as to become illogical about it, too).

I have had a very difficult time distinguishing the two - they have meant the same thing to me (I think the blurr between the two definitions came about by how often the terms were "abused," especially in business). However, when one's behaviour suggests a sense of deviousness - like manipulating a situation so that we can feel safe, then that is not honest (something we really need to be in order to recover). Yet, when we can persuade someone of our need to be able to control our situation because of our particular issues, then there is honesty involved and, therefore, much more validity for both you and who or what situation you are trying to control. Persuasion without manipulation is guilt-free. Don't know about you, but I am constantly wracked with guilt (mostly because deep down inside and usually subconsciously, I know I am not being honest about how I am going about getting what I need in order to feel secure in my world).

So, I just cannot see Linehan promoting "manipuation." If she was, I would not have to (indeed no borderline) would have to use therapy. If we were on the up and up, consiously and subconsiously (which is what we are trying to achieve with therapy), we would not have the difficulties we have.

Well, this is only my opinion from DBT. Who knows, maybe I shouldn't throw away my manipulative skills so fast; maybe I got the whole concept backwards again (another typical BPD trait for me).

Altered State
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