Thanks. That means a lot.

I wish my family would say this. They don't even know what's going on in my life right now, don't even know that I spent 8 days in the hospital over Thanksgiving. I doubt they even know what BPD is, so I wouldn't even bother explaining it to them; they have enough trouble trying to wrap their heads around the fact that I deal with depression. They just don't want to deal with me; I'm too much for them to handle.

I tried talking to my closest friend tonight because this is weighing on me so heavily but she has a sick kid at home and is on "bucket duty." Ah well. Maybe I'll try talking to her tomorrow. There's nothing she can do about it, I just need someone to talk to, just to get this out of my head. I just don't know what to do. I know we're not supposed to talk about religion so I'll keep this vague: I want to have faith in a higher power and I used to, but I've had so much happen that makes me wonder if anyone is looking out for me that it's really hard for me to have any faith whatsoever. And having no faith is scary.

Sorry to be so negative.