i agree with arod. But i think also, when a person is used to certain things, whether they are negative or positive, it is difficult to understand things outside of that, and hard to relate. It is a process that takes time for change. When a person is in any situation constantly, it can affect thinking patterns. When the mind is adjusted to one thinking style, it is difficult to see outside of the "box" that one is in. But there is difference outside of each person's perception, and there is hope for you littlefish. You are already taking steps.