Thanks Chris, I appreciate your honesty and missed it around here!
I do understand I have patterns and am really starting to see them come into play lately and see how destructive they are to me.
I think t was right to point them out but her timing sucked and the way she did it, it was at my expense totally. The fact was she screwed up and blamed me, granted I chose to push her away and quit but I think I have every right to after her not showing up for the second time. I need a t who is going to be there for me, a reliable t. If I continued to work with her I would be worrying before every session if she would turn up. It is the least a t can do and have the curtesy to apologise for her mistake and blame my sadness at her not showing up as my own fault. I think it was a natural reaction to feel hurt about it and not important no matter what my past, these are normal reactions and I am really disappointed in her lack of apology because she seemed so nice before. I think she is heading for a burn out