Did you grow up with hugs? I didn't, so it has been hard to hug anyone in RL, let alone my T! I never thought I would do it! My other Ts never offered touch except for the final session with one of them. Early in therapy my current T told me she is not against hugs, but I didn't want one then. I was scared, like you. I think the hand-holding came first, and that was the hardest decision in T for me!

I don't remember the first hug, but I know I hesitated. It felt kind of awkward because my T is thin. She probably initiated it, not me. I can't believe I would have done so! We didn't hug every time, but somehow I started asking her for a hug when I left, and I stopped worrying about how to "do it", or her being too thin, etc. She never refused a hug but 99% of the time I initate it. Most sessions I want one, especially since she won't hold my hand anymore. A hug is a more grown-up way to connect with her.

This week I was very surprised when she initiated a hug. I seemed to have forgotten, but she didn't. That was very special to me.

It's like anything else. The first time will be hard, or maybe not! You may like it, or maybe not. I say "take a deep breath and tell her you want a hug!" You deserve one!!!