Quote:
Originally Posted by Love/Hate09
Thank you so much for this post. It screamed out at me, i can recognise so much in it. I too have absolutely no one in my life, no one that would take care of me, no one that would look after me if i couldn't do so for myself due to an accident or something. I have no family that i could even claim to be remotely close to, i have one sibling that i very occasionally exchange the odd text message with and that's it. A few years ago i found myself out of work with no money coming in and it waas then that it really hit me full in the face how alone i really was. If i couldn't find some money from somewhere i was going to end-up homeless it was as straight forward as that. Sure i had friends who said rubbish like give me a call if you need anything but it was all empty words and i knew it, when it came down to it there was nothing or no-one between me and the street (sidewalk). That's when you know you are all alone in the world. So yes i can totally relate to where you are coming from Miss K, it's a horrible feeling to know that there is no-one there for you, literally no-one if it all turns out ***** and you have no options left.
I even took an OD to see if it was possible for me to exit life if i found myself with no options left. It wasn't that i wanted to kill myself it was just i wanted to know that i could if i had absolutely no choices left. That's a very lonely position to be in so i totally get where you're at. To see everyone else out there with at least someone or some family to help out should the worst happen andd to know that you don't have anyone is the most isolating feeling in the world.
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Thank you so much for responding. I saw all of the people who have viewed this and I was like, "What? Is there
no one else who feels this way?" I mean, it doesn't exactly help me to get out of the place that I'm in, but it helps me to know that I'm not the only person who is in this place. It's a very lonely feeling, especially living where I live, a very family-and-church-oriented city. It's hard knowing that the people around me are so focused on the family unit and you don't have one.
I guess don't really know if I would be homeless if it came down to it. When I went inpatient in November, I called a family friend to drive me to the hospital. They were the ones who looked after my cats while I was there for 8 days (otherwise, no one would have). I think that, short-term, if it really, really came down to it, I could call them. But they are in their 60's and won't be around thirty years from now when
I am their age and may need someone for certain things, you know? Long term though, if something happened and I lost my job or my home or something crazy like that then...yeah. I think the family friend would look after my cats, but I would probably be homeless. And I've been there before, long ago, when I was a little kid. I can't go back there again.