Yes that is truly alone, it's the worst feeling in the world to be truly alone with no-one there. I don't want to think that i'll have to spend the rest of my life alone, i really hope that i find someone, i seem to have spent so much of my life alone. Then when i have managed to meet someone on a rare occasion it somehow has never worked out. I'm just so sick of it, i keep thinking when is my turn going to come for something good to happen, surely the law of averages suggests that something good will happen for me one day. I can live in hope i suppose.