I don't know if I am going to see you tonight. For the first time ever I am self satobaging so I may not make session. Part of me is going to be devastated if I don't. If I do go what do I say or do. I feel like things have changed for ever and I don't even know why or what happened. I hate the fact I can only be one of many for you even though you try your best to be there for me. I hate the fact I feel so needy and want more. I hate that you're pushing me, but understand why. Maybe I don't have the capacity to change any more. Maybe this is it