Quote:
Originally Posted by George H.
There was a time in my life when a simple walk around the block was a step I had to force myself to take. Looking back it seems like a small step but at the time it took every bit of courage I had. Different than courage really... it felt like a huge risk but a risk I had to take if I ever wanted to get my freedom and confidence back.
So any small step will do. Next time you get one of those ideas try to push yourself to follow through. And to that example I gave about my steps... there were times when I couldn't make it all the way around the block. That would seem like a failure but it wasn't really. It was just a smaller step than I'd hoped for.
If the same thing happens to you, try to look at it that way.
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I don't know, it seems like any time I try and 'force myself' it just causes too much stress, not with everything and sometimes I have more energy than other times......but overall I am usually too exausted already to do much pushing.
I feel like if I somehow gained proper support then maybe that would help a little with pushing myself out of my comfort zone then it it goes wrong I still have support and the feeling of something to kind of fall back on. But yeah after repeatedly trying to do so on my own only to have it blow up in my face. I am a little afraid of more of that and then the whole having to try to deal with it alone without causing myself harm which gets harder and harder.
Sometimes I wish I was anti-social or something, then maybe I'd be ok with the amount of solitude I have to deal with and wouldn't give a damn what anyone thought about anything I do or think. But I am not so the loneliness kills me inside and I worry far too much about everyone else and usually forget to consider my own needs...or I somehow end up veiwing them as less important all the time.
But of course not doing a whole lot because the symptoms are overwhelming gets depressing and difficult too...I just don't see any viable solution. I have a therapy appointment at the end of the month but thats not till the end of the month.