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Ok, so I have been seeing this therapist for a year now, and I feel the "Transference" Feelings. I am in a Depression, cause I know I can't do anything with my therapist, and I don't like the fact that I look at every guy that is around me, and I say "He is nothing compared to my therapist." I am trying to get through these feelings, by using a metaphor.
I know it's screwed up, but I can't bring myself to actually tell him that I like him, so I know this guy named Sam, and Sam is very similar to my therapist. Of course, I don't have any feeling for Sam, but I am saying to my therapist that I am in love with Sam, and I know I can't be with him, because he's on drugs, blah,blah,blah. I am really talking about my therapist, but I am trying to make it believable by using Sam, but my therapist's reaction to it was "Your 19, and you will get over it." "You will move on" So, he doesn't look at this as a problem.
Anyways, I want to know if my therapist is crossing boundries to make me feel Transference. He talks to me like a friend. It is definitely not a therapeutic relationship, cause he told unrelated stuff, like his past, and he told me he was a partyer, and he told me funny stories about his friends, and college, etc. He never really mentions his Wife, and kids. I remember telling him one time, that I don't believe in the "one and only" crap, so I don't know why I am so infatuated with "Sam" He said "My friends always get mad at me when I say this, but I believe I could've married thousands of other women in this world" Bascially saying his wife isn't special, which I think is screwed up, but anyways, he knows I am a rocker chick, I am into that heavy metal music, lol! He was telling me about his past, and how he had long hair, and I am thinking why are you telling me this? lol, but seriously, in my opinion he almost is like trying to impress me or something.
I am 19 years old, and my therapist is 37 years old. He has told me that he feels like he is talking to a 35 year old, because I am so mature, but he also said that he has to remind himself, that I am 19, and not 30 or 35, which I thought was kinda weird to say.
Also, when I was talking about (Metaphor)Sam, My therapist was discouraging me from going out with Sam. He would say "That's gross, you're 19, and he is 34" He would just always be discouraging about (metaphor) Sam. All of a sudden he switched gears on me, and said "Go out with him, it might be fun." So I thought that was kinda weird, that all of a sudden he switched gears. Then he said, "What are you going to do if you were going to dive in this?" and I said "I can't dive into it for many reasons." He said "Well, it might be fun" He said it again. Do you think he caught onto my metaphor? Why is switching gears? Is he crossing boundries? Also will I heal from my transference if I keep using Sam? Please give me your thoughts on all of this, an tell me honestly, cause I am very confused. Thank you so much!
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