My younger son is like that. Like your bf he had an extremely abusive early life. He was also probably exposed to alcohol in the womb and was failure to thrive - at 3 months old he'd gained no weight. He was admitted to the hospital and gained a pound in a matter of days. I adopted him at almost 13 years of age. I always say when he's talking he's lying. And he can make himself shed real tears on cue. It's very dramatic if you don't know him.

Anyway I've always wondered how much of his problems have to do with emotional/psychological abuse and neglect and how much is down to actual physical damage to his brain from the prenatal alcohol exposure and starvation as an infant. I'm sure some of it is genetic too. It would be difficult to tease out what's what.

Good luck to you.