maybe trigger*****talk of sui and si



Dear T, all i kept thinking last night is that i must repulse you soo soo much. you seemed so far away. i am so sad and depression and feeling suicidal but it just seemed like you were so far away and didn't want me to be close at all.
thanks for understanding i need a break. hopefully i can work this out in my head, things are real ugly right now. the voice won't shut up. and they sound so clear. and i can't stop crying. i have been holding of si'ing for a long time now, months. but last night i lost the battle another reason to take a break.