Quote:
Originally Posted by 1970sbaby
Hi everyone
I am writing today because I am trying to figure out if my feelings are normal, or I am I just a bad person. I have not seen or spoken to my mother or brother in about 15 years and have no desire to. People ask me about my family and I tells them taht my dad is no longer alive and I have no idea where my mother and brother. They ask me if i know where they are and why I do not try to find them, and I tell them that I have no idea where they are and they could be 10 feet under as far as i am concerned. People gasp when I say that and say that I do not mean it but I do. After all the abuse that they put me through, I want nothing to do with them. Am I a bad person.....is this normal???? PLEASE HEP!!!!
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You are asking several questions, essentialy (in bold above).
Are you a bad person? No - that part is easy.
Is this normal? That depends how you define "normal". If you define normal as some "statistical average", then it is not normal - a lot of people who have suffered through abuse still maintain contact with the perpetrator-relatives, not necessarily because they want to, but because it is logistically impossible not to (they live in the same household still), or because the victims of abuse do not want to go against the social norms of staying in some sort of contact with the relatives throughout your life, or just "because". A minority of abused people actually cut out all contact. If, however, you define "normal" as "healthy", then you should look inwards to find the answer. To check yourself against some sort of statistical average, you can ask around, but to define what is healthy for YOU, you need to look inwards.