Quote:
Originally Posted by 1970sbaby
Hi everyone
I am writing today because I am trying to figure out if my feelings are normal, or I am I just a bad person. I have not seen or spoken to my mother or brother in about 15 years and have no desire to. People ask me about my family and I tells them taht my dad is no longer alive and I have no idea where my mother and brother. They ask me if i know where they are and why I do not try to find them, and I tell them that I have no idea where they are and they could be 10 feet under as far as i am concerned. People gasp when I say that and say that I do not mean it but I do. After all the abuse that they put me through, I want nothing to do with them. Am I a bad person.....is this normal???? PLEASE HEP!!!!
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First I would tell you NO You are NOT a BAD person!
Then I would say no it is not normal to feel this way, however, You are unique. I am in no way normal! I never will be but I do look in the mirror and like myself. It took a long time for me to undo all hurt, pain, and imprints put upon me. To come to a place of my truth.
Your words say it all.
It is not healthy for you to be angry and bitter.
You can leave family behind and stay on your own if that is what keeps you safe. Sometimes people are so toxic distance/silence is golden.
You need validation and healing, therapy would really help.
Past abuse disguises who you are. You are a good person who has been through a terrible past, and it sounds like you have been in a survivors state of mind for 15 years. Take some time to place the blame where it belongs and start working on recognizing the person you are today!
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I am glad to meet you and know that you are not the only one who feels this way. There are some great people here at pc who have simular trajic past and are all working our way to balance and peace.
H.
