I've never really written to an audience before... especially not about my own issues but here is goes. I'm a unemployed, 21 year old, single female with no ambition, motivation, or inspiration. My high school years weren't so bad in the social sense but academically my grades were terrible. So much so, my high school let me graduate with half a credit but sh!#, at the time I wasn't complaining. Inevitably I didn't take SAT's or ACT's, I didn't apply to any colleges or universities because of my poor grades and credits.

Now I'm being told by my family I HAVE to do something soon. I've been staying in my parent's house for my entire life, I've been trying to get a job but none of them interest me. The longest I've held a job through all this time is 2 weeks... I feel like a damn joke. In a certain light, I know I am one. I don't have any dreams, I'm hardly into anything I used to love, like drawing and writing stories. I barely leave my bedroom and whenever I do, I always find myself sighing, cursing god, and sucking my teeth whenever I think about what I have to do or the things I should have done. I don't want to go to school, because I know I'm a terrible student, but without a specialization in something I know I can't get a decent job... which means I'll be struggling to provide for myself for the rest of my life and lord knows no man wants some pathetic, needy, and depressed chick around.

I always feel alone, lifeless, and empty. How the **** do I get rid of all the emotion and mental stress I've built up to live like a regular human being, and a productive citizen in society? I hope someone reads this... I wish someone could understand... I'm so sick of being in such a beautiful world I'm not apart of...