I don't know where else to write about this, so I figured here would be ok.

My best friend was my ex boyfriend. He broke up with me the day after Christmas & although it was tough, I also felt quite free. We were both going through some hard times & I felt like I could focus on myself for once. We stayed in contact. Eventually, the friendly conversation we were still having became friendlier (if you know what I mean). And he admitted he was still in love with me (even though after breaking up with me, he got back with his ex wife, & two other women). I told him the same. Although we never said we were a couple again, I began to grow hope for us. Eventually I became tired of the odd relationship we had going on. We talked about what we were going to do. And eventually he decided it was best for me to move on. Keep in mind, he's 22 years older than me & I've always felt like he's thought about my well-being more than anything else. Our last night together was really hard. We cried a lot.

Well about four days later, I come to find out he's met someone else (an old friend he caught up with two days after our break-up, so he says) and now he's in a relationship with this person. It's been about 3 weeks since then. And although we weren't even a couple anymore, I feel so depressed because of it.

I am always thinking of him. And I miss him terribly. He was my only friend after all. We have tried keeping contact, but right now it's hard for me. I was so attached to him. He would give me his full attention and now that's gone. I try to distract myself but wherever I am or whatever I'm doing, I think only of him. He was my first love, to be honest.

I feel like I hurt myself every time I think about him or get jealous about the new female in his life. I was already depressed and this just added more baggage. I've been told to not talk to him for awhile, but he literally was/is my only friend. Yesterday he even encouraged me to go to therapy.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with everything I am feeling. I also just wanted to talk about it.

I just miss him.

There should be a forum for people with broken hearts, btw.

Sorry this is long.