Hi Mulan. I'm glad you decided to join us. This is just the place for you. Here you will get the understanding you need.
Is correct that it's been 2 years since you saw a Dr.? Things change so quickly in the mental health field and they are finding new medications all the time. You have to keep going to the Dr. because it can take time to find the right help for you.
Try to get enough sleep eat properly. Keep posting here. Just hold on. We care about you.