(((Got Java))) If you are taking medication please do not drink. Alcohol is a depressant and can interfere with your meds. If you are going to use alcohol please let your doctor know how much and when. Your doctor is unable to help you if you are not 100% honest with him/her.
I know what you mean when you say no one understands. I have found people who do understand here on PC, in depression groups and the hospital. If you can find a depression group in your area, you might try that if you have not in the past. If you can keep posting and good luck.