I hope your new job has some aspects of nurturing others in it. After reading your posts it sounds as if you are happiest when you are in that role (mother, for example). If the job doesn't involve nurturing, perhaps you could build some of that into it - for example, excellent customer service if you work with the public. Caring for others (in a healthy way) is one way of getting out of ourselves (what you call clearing your mind) and getting into life. I imagine you have a lot to offer in whatever you choose to do.

I hope you go see that son who lives in another state soon. If that is not possible, call or send him a card with a nice letter in it. It sounds like you are missing him. He needs your good mommy love even as an adult.