Hey,

I'm sorry you are still struggling with this. Hugs can be a difficult concept in therapy.

I can kind of relate to your situation. I had a therapist for a couple years, and we used to hug at the end of sessions. We took a break for just over a year, and when we started again, no hugs. I wanted one, but was too nervous to ask about it, even though we had done it before! It was making me feel anxious with her, and I realized I had to just do something.

So, I wrote a note to her and gave it to her at the beginning of the next session. It essentially said " At the end of our time today, I'm going to ask you if I can give you a hug. I am ok with whatever answer you give, but I just need to ask, and I wanted to give you a heads up so it doesn't catch you off guard as we're walking out the door." She responded with a very kind "Of course I'll hug you!" and we talked for a little bit about the reasons I wanted one, and then that was it. It was not nearly as difficult or stressful as I had built it up to be in my head.

So, I encourage you to ask about it. Write it out if you have to. If it will make you feel better, then there is no harm in asking. The one thing about my therapist is that she will hug me if I want, but she will never initiate. That is hard for me, but I do understand why. So, your therapist may be the same...just waiting for you to initiate.

Let us know how it goes!