I would not try vasiline on the cotton part. It will act as a barrier and not let liquids in. I do have the same problem. The joker slides down and then aggravates my insides. I'm no spring chicken, so I don't know if it is an age thing or not. I agree the mess of pads is just yuck. This inconvience of tampons is very annoying. But generally they do tend to make life easier. Mine sometimes fall out when I go to pee even if they are not fully saturated. Other times it is to dry and feels like it is pulling out part of my insides. GREAT TO BE FEMALE HUH.