I think that he doesn't sound unethical, but I agree with nicoleflynn in that he shouldn't have been giving you advice. He shouldn't have told you not to go out with Sam, and he shouldn't have advised you to do so either after awhile. It's possible that he did this because you are still fairly young, and he may feel like he should try to guide you in the "right" direction. I think that when you have these intense feelings for someone, it is so easy to take on that perspective and read a lot into everything. But therapist's aren't mind readers, as much as we may at times like them to be. It might be embarrassing to tell him about what's really going on, but I think he will understand why you came up with Sam- it's very difficult to talk about those feelings!