today, omg, i could nt stand it. it makes me so sad... You see, tonight there was an honors assembly at school. (im almost 15 by the way) i was invited and recieved an Academic Honor Roll award for having a 3.0 or better. My mom wanted pictures but my dad was in a better spot. my dad ended up not getting the picture and my mom got upset and called my dad an @$$. So she took a picture afterwards and then we went for cookies in the hall. Then she wanted to take a picture outside too. well, she made a comment that she didn't like our new camera, and my dad made a rude joke out of it. "and this is a problem?" smartly over a few times. Then my dad gets mad at me for having the 3.0 and getting an award other wise they never would have gotten upset at eachother. My mom ended up having to go to the bathroom, but i know she wasn't in there to do her business, she was wiping tears from her eyes so she wouldnt have to let me see how sad she was. This makes me so sad, and upset. My dad yells at me all the time, and gets mad and blames me for everything bad that happens. He comes home from long hours at work and takes it out on me. why cant he see what hes making me feel like? i've been going to see a counselor for 3 months now and she's seen me cry for the whole hour, and my dad has seen me cry too. so has my mom. My mom is awesome, i feel like shes on m side, feeling what i do, but my dad still hurts my emotions, and doesn't seem to be sorry cause he keeps doing it. I'm just so upset, but sometimes i cant cry no matter how much i want to and let it all come out, i can't. please, i want to cry so hard right now and cant find a way to do so, but later this week i know that i will cry myself to sleep at night. its 12:09 am here, so you can see how much i want someone to lean on. i have good friends, but i dont like to share my feelings w them, i want to look happy by them and not let them know whats wrong, even though i really do want to just cry on her shoulder for all of eternity. what should i do?

-----------REVISED | 12:24 am | 5/28/04---------------

I'm looking for some answers tonight. ive sat and wtched 4 people read this and not one answer with advice or even a prayer. I need some help and a few answers soon.