Yes, I'm having a bad day. I feel defeated and I'm just giving up on everything. I can't turn thins around and because so much time has passed, I don't even want to anymore. I'm basically just waiting to die. I don't want life anymore. I don't want any part of it.

I really don't know what's gotten me through. I guess maybe the reason I' still here has nothing to do with me. It's probably because I know there re few people who love and care for me and I'm not sure if they would understand if I were to die. I think they want me here, but I can't understand why. They see me, see how I am, see how difficult it is to be round me, see how miserable I am and how I don't care about anything anymore, so why would they even want me here? I know for sure they don't need me, but still I feel guilty for not wanting to live.

I feel like you do...why bother putting one foot in front of the other when it doesn't get you any closer to the finish line, or if not the finish line, at least in a better position?

You've already helped. You read my post and replied. You shared with me your feelings and this helps a great deal, as I get to see that there is someone out there who understands and can relate to what I'm going through. Thanks for being kind.

I hope things get better for you soon. ((hugs))