Do you have any friends who don't have a dad around, or whose dad acts like yours? Maybe it'd help to talk with them, sharing how you feel with each other. One thought I have is, it may help a lot if you could find someone to be a supporting father-figure to you.
How's the counselling going? Do you feel you can talk with her well, does she have any helpful suggestions?
You're a worthwhile person, and you deserve to be valued. I hope someone will help you feel that way soon.
Congrats on the Honor Roll, btw That's awesome