I understand how it feels after years and years of hoping, believing, life will get better, only to be disappointed in the end. It is just not fair. Why did life turn out so bad for some of us? What did we do? I'm sure we are good people. Are we just the token few in the world who serve as a gauge on the measuring stick of life? We are here to boost the lives of others and that's it? No joy for us, no love for us, no nothing. I'm sorry you are in similar pain. I was hoping to reach a better stage in life, in my future, but my future is now and now s____s. I don't know how to deal with it all either, except I just keep going through the motions of living. I have no motivation anymore. It is so hard to come to this realization. No hope .

I don't want to leave you on that note. I want to say something positive. I feel for you because I know. The only good thing I can say is that I can still appreciate the beauty of nature. The flowers blooming, the rivers flowing, the trees standing tall, the blue sky above, the warmth of the sun and the light of the moon and the stars at night. I can see them, the gift of sight allows me to appreciate something. That's about it.