First of all I'm am not going to go into specific details towards the society among me because it is the equivalent of talking against someone's back. You NEVER want to talk bad about others... Unless of course it's me.

I want some help....

Okay I want to stop trying to cut myself when ever a harsh event happens that leaves me so guilty about myself. It's not only ruining me, but everything else around me. People say that I only want attention and that I just want to be the victim of everything (even though I'm just the victim of myself). But I feel terrible, (from this point I'm going to include religious topics) because I know that God loves me (I think, don't want to sound too cocky) and I should be grateful that I am more fortunate than others....

But I hate myself so much... What I do, how I look. I've been just a horrible, horrible daughter and sister and I wish I could just make up for all the bad things I've done in my life. I want to stop taking the bait and getting angry or sad because someone told me something or over a small thing. I keep on telling my self that theres billions of people in this world.... That not all of them will hate if I met them... But I just feel so unwanted and disgusted at the monster I am.

Um so could anyone give me some advice to stop cutting, getting mad, guilt, and how approach someone that you've hurt and you want to say sorry to them, and how to have a nice relationship with family?

Please and thanks.... I really need this. Sorry if this post was too long, but I just wanted to vent out an answer