Hi everyone,

I have been on and off of this site for five years. I am still struggling a lot because I have social anxiety disorder and I am afraid to reach out and honestly speak about my feelings for not feeling loved.

Because my need was not met in the past I did a lot of things which hurt me. I was not aware at the time possibly because I was young and I just needed to have that need met in order to survive.

I dated the wrong kind of people and I had several exes. Finally when i met the right someone, they are upset that I had so many exes. They saved themselves for the special someone and I on the other hand...did not. I feel very bad to have acted in this way. To this day I still have insecurities and often do feel nloved.

I have no feelings for my parents or family. I just wold rather not see them anymore. I am very reserved when it comes ot toher people - I do not make friends quickly. I constantly need reassurance from my bf to know that I am loved.

I have another problem where my highschool teacher constantly pops into my head. I wish this would stop. I had the hugest crush on him but he had no respect for me and made fun of me. I guess I saw him as a father figure and he is the only person I remember that gave me very good feelings about myself ...

I feel pretty much numb all of the other time