Hello again Altered,
Well now that we got that out of the way.....

This statement you made caught my attention. You're exactly right.
"We will ALWAYS try to get around those boundaries, because we feel this is the only way we can get what we feel we need. "
WE have set boundries, and he's crossed them many times. In an attempt to hold on I guess I have let him. I wanted to believe that his needs did not over shadow mine while plugging away to continue to set new boundries or try to establish them again. I could see it happening, but I guess I didn't really realize why. Oh, I did, but in good times I just choose not to believe. I truly did not want my marriage to fall apart. I clug to every good moment and prayed it would last.
And your right, I have made my decision. I'm just on damage control: His, Mine, and the kids.
Thank you for your insite. Again, I searched the net to find a place for "caregivers" because I know it's a double edged sword and I didn't to sharpen anyone's points.