Hi Deviantmoon ~ I may be wrong, but it sounds to me like you're quite depressed. When you're in a room full of people, do you still feel alone? Do you feel better when you're alone, by yourself? You say you feel like crying most of the time? That, to me, sounds just like I did and I was severely depressed.

If I were you, I would ask my doctor to refer me to a good therapist. Please believe me that therapy CAN help with depression! I've been thru therapy and it helped me immensely!

I have suffered depression since I was a smalll child. I didn't get treatment til I was in my 20's when I entered therapy and I really felt so much better. I did have to spend some time in a mental hospital, but that's not the usual case -- I was near the edge. I have "clinical depression" which is, as I understand it, when the brain is lacking the chemicals that are needed to keep the moods stable, so I have to be on an antidepressant all the time. I'll need to take one the rest of my life.

So please talk with your doctor and have him refer you to a therapist. You wont' regret it. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee