I do know how you feel, you are in a depressive state and that state makes you feel horrible, it makes you feel just like you feel. If you don't go to a professional I suggust you do find one. Cutting is not healthy at all as well as dangerous, you may cut to deep or cut a main vessel or something. As for asking for forgiveness you just have to say it!! and mean it from your heart, asking someone to forgive you actually makes you feel good also!!Learn to love you you ae a beautiful person inside that body!! once yo learn how great you are you will begin to feel better!! beating yourelf up never helps you get well it only digs deeper and deeper in dispare.I wish you look and remember here you have friends to isten to you without judging you, because all of us here has issues to deal with. Good luck.