I read an article an hour back and your question is similar to it. I am not BPD. I can speak after being with my BPD ex for many a years. One of the biggest issue, maybe the biggest issue, she has in life is enmeshment with her parents. And I read this about enmeshment and narcissistic parents -
Children, being dependent, become victims of their parents’ problems and inadequacies. Most of the parents I am describing can be characterized as narcissistic, putting their needs ahead of those of their children. These parents are overtly or covertly demanding or controlling of their children. We all recognize that parents’ true mission is to take care of their children. In the case of narcissistic parents, however, the reverse is often true, and these children learn to feel guilty unless they are attuned to meeting the needs of their parents. These children grow up with a hypersensitivity to rejection due to the fact that parent love is conditional, not freely given.