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Old Apr 14, 2013, 10:50 PM
JeffLawrence JeffLawrence is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2011
Posts: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle25 View Post
Jeff, I just read your thread and want you to know that I feel similarly toward my T as you do. Your poem is beautiful. I love my T so much too. Don't want to go into many details now but just to let you know that you are not alone. I'm glad you did your research and pointed out that Moonlitsky was a therapist himself. He sounds cold to the whole situation if you ask me (no offense meant as I respect T's in general just disagree with your comments in this thread). Too professional for me, but then, maybe you were looking for a profesional opinion? I looked for that too once.

Sounds to me like Moonlitsky does not believe one can truly be in love with their therapist. I still don't see any harm in becoming friends or more if both people wanted to. Of course, you'd have to speak to your T about that to see where she stands. My relationship with T ended because the pain was too intense. I cannot handle it. I needed more of him than 50 minutes in a room once a week. I don't see how anyone can say that the T client/ relationship can be stronger than friendship or equally rewarding. The limitations on communicating are too restrictive to support that theory in my opinion. I won't hear of anyone telling me that my love was not real or true. Who is anyone to dictate my choice of a friend. I'll pick who I want, thank you very much. I am aware that my T is not a perfect person as I'm sure you are aware too Jeff. I do not see him as anything other than who he is - a human being (last time I looked anyway ). In my case, my love was not reciprocated by T and it hurts so much that I had to end it. The road ahead will be very hard without him. I try not to think about it and have put up a mental block for now. T is still in my mind as if I never left him. It will all catch up with me someday but till then I hold on tight to my memories of our sessions. I hope things work out better for you Jeff. I hope you can continue on in therapy with her. Good luck.
Hi Michelle,

What you went through sounds very hurtful. If I understand correctly, your T told you outright that he did not love you, at least not the same way you loved him. My T has never said that, exactly. What she has said many times is that we are not friends, we are therapist and client; nothing more and nothing less. She emphasizes the value of our relationship within that realm. She also has told me repeatedly that my attempts to get her to disclose info. about herself, or trying to discover what SHE is thinking, is not therapy. When I do that, what I am doing, she says, is trying to reverse our roles, and that is not therapy. I understand that, but my emotions have been very stubborn, as they are in other areas of my life, and so I continue to probe. That in itself is very telling of who I am.

I intend to continue therapy, although there have certainly been times when I wanted to take a break, but never have.

Best wishes, to you, Michelle. I am trying to get my emotions on track with my intellect. I wish the same for you.

- Jeff
Thanks for this!
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